Just the Way You Are....

When I was a child I had long blonde hair, and in the sixties and seventies it seemed that the whole world was looking for a child with long blonde hair to be their flower girl! I had five brothers (all a lot older than me) who all had lots of friends, and getting married was still in fashion-so I got to be a flower girl more times than I care to remember!
The thing these poor couples didn’t realize was that while I enjoyed the dress up part of weddings, and the dancing afterwards, standing around for HOURS smiling and trying to look cute was definitely NOT on my list of fun things to do! To put it plainly, I scowled! Why the photo sessions at weddings have to take hours and hours I still can’t imagine, but they did, they were pure torture, and I scowled my way through it all! I hate to think how many peoples wedding photos I ruined with my scrunched up face!
Fast forward a few years. I took up singing and was involved in a church, at the time, full of vibrant young people. Getting married was definitely the thing to do, and having someone sing at your wedding...you can see what’s coming can’t you! But I had a much better attitude to singing at weddings rather than being photographed! It was over quickly and it gave people a good excuse to shed a quiet tear of joy-at least I hope it was joy and not pain that made their eyes look watery as I hit the high notes!
I haven’t sung at, or even attended a wedding for soooo long, but this Saturday my dear friend Ali is going to tie the knot with her partner of four years. Its wedding number two for both of them. They have been there and done that, and got the kids to prove it. Their love and commitment for each-other may not have the lusty naive pop and pow of young/first love, but it is seasoned, rich and wise. They both know a lot about life, and love, and how to live with another person through the lumps and bumps.
I am singing at their wedding-happily, and at Ali’s request, “I love you just the way you are” by Billy Joel. The words to that song are so wise. What I am discovering as I “mature” is that the only person I can really change is myself, and thats what that song is all about, loving people for who they are without having an agenda to manipulate them into your own image....which is a good thing-or the world would be full of scowling flower-girls! UGH! Scary thought!