Zoom class meetings |
It has been tricky to hold space and
still deliver academic content for the students' who have faced so many
challenges. I have tried to find the fulcrum as I have endeavored to balance
listening, caring, providing resources, all while trying to humanize online
instruction.
The space between my lap top screen and
their device feels so far away. I have had students who have lost
housing, living in their car yet, show up for our online class from their
vehicle in a parking lot so they could access free wifi. I have had students
who have lost jobs, unable to buy food, or lacked appropriate devices to be
able to complete their school work, or didn't have internet and sat on the
porch of a neighbor's house who graciously allowed them to access their wifi so
they could attend online classes.
Sharing a little of Aotearoa New Zealand in their zoom meeting |
Every time a student doesn't show up
for the weekly online class, a sense of fear overwhelms me. For each response
reveals burdens, struggles, sickness and sometimes death. When these students
do not show up for the scheduled weekly online Zoom class, I reach out with
persistence (maybe a little like stalking) through email and text to see if
they need support. I found out one student didn't show up to our online class
because they had been in the ICU for 5 days on a ventilator. And yet, the
following week, their face was shining bright across the screen. The student's
father walked into her bedroom during our Zoom class, and in front of all the
other students, with tears in his eyes, thanked me for calling and checking up
on his daughter, as it showed how much I cared as a professor. I have had
several students lose grandparents and relatives to COVID -19. And so many more
afraid for the health and well being of their families and friends
Graduation Day at University |
Yet, with all the uncertainties we face
for the future of higher education, I have found a deep sense of gratitude for
my university, colleagues, students and community. I have seen my university
provide resources for students who are in financial need. For example, I was
able to refer the student who was living in their car to the university CARES
team who was able to provide funds for the student to get stable housing.
Others have accessed funds to purchase food, pay utilities, etc. Also, I
have seen students give back by serving their community online through
answering emergency hotline phones, reading books to children, translating text
into multiple languages, calling elderly who are alone, and so many more ways.
It has made me proud to be a part of something greater than myself.
Annie White, Brenda Soutar and Wendy Lee at the California State University Channel Islands |
As we are nearing the end of this
semester with financial loss and the fall semester instruction delivery method
unknown because of COVID -19, I have been provided the gift of time, to slow
down, and listen more deeply to others, lean into the uncomfortable silence,
embrace the shadow and light that surround me. Though the Zoom online classes
will come to an end, perhaps in the fall, or possibly later, as the screens go
dark, the students will never fade. Their stories will linger, as we all hope
to move forward in the future, to a time where we can look back at the past
without staring.
Much love to you all
Annie
Assistant Professor of Early Childhood Studies, School of Education
California State University Channel Islands
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